Why Christian Fellowship Ruined My life & more

JAYSUS!
When I first encountered CF, it seemed like a perfectly fun, Jesus loving thing to do. I mean, every brown person's secret dream is to be a) white b) say the words "I'm Christian" c) marry a hot white person and d) have mixed milo-coloured babies.... #truth

So, can you really blame me for wanting to join? At least the second one would be kind of fulfilled... (something is clearly so appealing about wanting to say 'Hail Mary') because the only white people in our school, are a) intellectual girls or b) the 50 year oldteachers (one of the white girls isn't fully white I think) .

But, for your exclusive perusal *shoutout to the SATs, which I probably WONT TAKE because CF ruined my life, I'll get to the point*
-5 REASONS WHY CF RUINED MY LIFE ^GG^
#Reason 1: The FIRST maths test I took after I joined CF was a. BARE. MINIMUM. PASS. Like, legitimately *coz computer doesn't understand what legit-ly is* the worst grade ever at KT-Blog/jail/prison-J.
#reason 2 : my nemesis and its best friend is there. *since the discovery of my blog by the EP wildlife, I can no longer use personal pronouns for fear of revenge* The nemesis might not be the real nemesis after all, for its BFF is SA.VA.GE. I cannot emphasise it enough! I hate it! Both of them!!! Soulless chickens!!! I don't like it!
#reason 3: I now have less time to eat lunch. What does this mean? Um, nothing, actually. I just have less time which is a HORRIBLE THING TO DO TO SOMEONE
#reason 4: I have to sit through CF with all these successful people wondering if I CAN SUCCESS. Its just ew.
#reason 5: less time to study (jk what is a-levels!) so less grades, less essay, less sleep more fail.

Therefore, with sufficient evidence, I shall stop going to CF. *In the style of Ted Mosby from HIMYM* "And that kids, Is why I NEVER MET YOUR MADER coz CF RUINS LIVES.

With all the love,
M.

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