1001 Ways to Embarrass Yourself While Avoiding Injuries

How did you get caught? (Or not caught, as the case may be.) Gnawing desperately at the slab of turkey breast I had hacked off the Christmas turkey in near delirium with a plastic fork, I ceased to pay attention to the surroundings. All I could think about was the turkey, the stuffing and my stomach. If ever there was a person fated to be caught doing the rare wrong thing at the exact, precise, worse possible timing… I suppose it would be me. And so, it happened. He walked into the kitchen nonchalantly, and I balked in horror, strips of whitish turkey meat stuck in between my teeth, one finger greasy from the stuffing, the others caressing an especially sumptuously plump mince pie. Dropping the remainder of the turkey in one hand into my cavernous and ravenous mouth, I pushed the pie as far away from me as it would physically go across the slick, faintly oily marble kitchen top. I had been caught eating the leftovers from the Christmas lunch we had … that we were supposed to...

 "Do it for the LOLZ"/"SAME".- UNKNOWN_GIRL2345 STORY OF MY LIFE “The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.” – Douglas Engelbart If I had a penny for the times I embarrassed myself or my friends, I think I'd be as rich as ...Donald Trump is likely to be voted Feminist of the Year. I mean, seriously, guys, it's a penny!  Then again, it is me! *que the dramatic music* Rightyho, now onto the serious talk! Ugh, I so do dread the serious talks in life. I have no ability to separate my emotions from topics which I talk endlessly about, and if I am coincidentally emotionally distraught about something, then you can be sure that I'll be nattering about it endlessly. The major party pooper of recent has been education. I have decided to pursue an Economics-related degree at university, preferably in the UK. My AS levels are Maths, Further Maths, Economics and History. *there, feels like a ...

'To be radical is to grasp things by the root.'- Karl Marx Hello, and welcome to the mind of unknown_girl2345.  As you have probably guessed from the blog's title, I am a hopeless klutz and less obviously, a huge fan of all things kitschy and un-mainstream. My latest interests have been Freakonomics and (trying to) apply the freakonomic way of thinking to my debate assignment of solving poverty.  My first reaction to this assignment was a huge 'WHAT ON EARTH'. First of all, I am no political/economics genius ready to nudge the general population into a designated structure with my carefully planned incentives. Although this would probably be excellent fodder for the economics degree which I plan on doing, it took a really LONG time for me to come up with a solution. In the end, I settled for a 'command economy', thanks to my BRILLIANT economics teacher *no sarcasm at all :) * I quoted the father of all command economies, none other than the defamed...