1001 Ways to Embarrass Yourself While Avoiding Injuries

oh god, I thought to look at you your head was brown, eyes blue. your whiteness was the problem here it made me want to disappear. you were, Mein Gott, so good so right you even asked if you could take a bite so fragile so wondering and I understand if you don't want this again I'm haunted by the thought of you inside me outside is cold, you tried you put it inside my opening I like you I said you said I'm sorry I had a bad breakup it's - "NOT YOU!"I interrupt. I know where this is going! No no no you say not like that you hug me before you leave. wunderbar Wunderbar you are what a lovely lad come again please i'll open up and this time it'll be better, so fun so tight so wet so much to give Mein Gott oh oh OH!

Someone has cut the flowers, trimmed the stems, slashed the bushes upon which they grew and still though I try- I cannot seem to forget you the bright creature so nymph-like and tall. My very own Sappho has bloomed before me stuck in betwixt and between youth and age with your long black hair and liquid pools of the darkest ermine as eyes. Summer is coming and the ripe autumn leaves and fruits are bursting with indecent passion, We used to roll around the fallen flowers and then a kiss from me to you. Neruda is romantic, but he forgot to describe  the unknowing beauty of those he cannot possible ascribe to, cannot see, hold or touch. My darling, he hath nothing to compare you to, Not star not moon not sun nor sky you surpass all in your Beauty it is like singing to a bard your conquests How pointless, how pitiful no words can describe my Sappho in bloom like verdant green in an abundance of brown You alone are there. When you smile it as if there ha...

Go home, he said, with a glint in his eye, and a bat in his hand, begging me to disagree so he could take a swing, and by hitting me dissolve all his problems. Go back to your country, he hissed, with the weight of his words hanging in the air like a wall between us and it was painful to think that But for the shape of my eyes and the scars on his hands, we are the same, marked by the same stamps and regulations- We are both, for better or worse, Malaysian and we both sing everyday the pledge to die for king and country and in our own Perverse ways, we mean everything we say, and that is not a lie. Stop, I wanted to whisper but the scent of his hate choked my reply. Step by step, foot in front of another, I said to him, YOU ARE MY BROTHER, This country is as much mine as thine, This land of plenty is too my mother. He faltered, hand wavering, I back up, slow stammering, and we fall slowly to the ground crying for this land of our birth! Forever connec...

JAYSUS! When I first encountered CF, it seemed like a perfectly fun, Jesus loving thing to do. I mean, every brown person's secret dream is to be a) white b) say the words "I'm Christian" c) marry a hot white person and d) have mixed milo-coloured babies.... #truth So, can you really blame me for wanting to join? At least the second one would be kind of fulfilled... (something is clearly so appealing about wanting to say 'Hail Mary') because the only white people in our school, are a) intellectual girls or b) the 50 year oldteachers (one of the white girls isn't fully white I think) . But, for your exclusive perusal *shoutout to the SATs, which I probably WONT TAKE because CF ruined my life, I'll get to the point* -5 REASONS WHY CF RUINED MY LIFE ^GG^ #Reason 1: The FIRST maths test I took after I joined CF was a. BARE. MINIMUM. PASS. Like, legitimately *coz computer doesn't understand what legit-ly is* the worst grade ever at KT-Blog/jai...

Mazel Tov, loyal readers! My relatives have come to visit and one of them, Harry (that's not her real name) is married to a Jewish man, I think? Also, I am obsessed with Jewish culture for some absurd reason; I think it has something to do with shared features, a.k.a the disproportionately large noses. But, moving along, I feel like I must introduce you to Vitas, an absolute legend. The story of how I came about discovering him is quite funny ( WELL did you expect anything different, I mean it's me. :) ) So, basically, one of my best friends from Eastwood Prep tagged me in a Facebook post, with a link to this song- called Opera N2 by Vitas. This is essentially a not-so-subtle reference to when I screamed in the common bathroom in my boarding house. Do I regret it? NO! It was the most therapeutic things I've ever personally experienced; shouting in a public place, that is. I plan on making a parody video of me stepping on a Lego piece to the tune (hard to explain, when y...