1001 Ways to Embarrass Yourself While Avoiding Injuries

JAYSUS! When I first encountered CF, it seemed like a perfectly fun, Jesus loving thing to do. I mean, every brown person's secret dream is to be a) white b) say the words "I'm Christian" c) marry a hot white person and d) have mixed milo-coloured babies.... #truth So, can you really blame me for wanting to join? At least the second one would be kind of fulfilled... (something is clearly so appealing about wanting to say 'Hail Mary') because the only white people in our school, are a) intellectual girls or b) the 50 year oldteachers (one of the white girls isn't fully white I think) . But, for your exclusive perusal *shoutout to the SATs, which I probably WONT TAKE because CF ruined my life, I'll get to the point* -5 REASONS WHY CF RUINED MY LIFE ^GG^ #Reason 1: The FIRST maths test I took after I joined CF was a. BARE. MINIMUM. PASS. Like, legitimately *coz computer doesn't understand what legit-ly is* the worst grade ever at KT-Blog/jai...

" Chun migozarad baki nist"- A Farsi saying It is okay because this too shall pass. I feel the voice echo in my head, stupidly,  bouncing around with absolutely no meaning because I have caused this tragic incident. Kabul before and after. I read this phrase when I was reading the 'Bookseller of Kabul', I think it was inscribed on a teahouse in Kabul. It was an excellent book, one of the kinds that make you realise your life is amazing. Self-reflection upon brown, yellowed pages. Graciousness reigns. Yours, Maneesha

She spits the blood out of her mouth onto the bathroom floor; staining the impeccably white marble tiles a scarlet red. He pushes her down to the floor and kicks the area she thinks her left kidney might be and slams the mahogany door shut. A sudden bout of nausea takes ahold of her and she crawls, with great difficulty to the expensive toilet, and grips the toilet seat. Her stomach heaves a few times. But she doesn't throw up. Too little food, she thinks, silently in her mind. She lies against the wall, a frail hand resting on her throbbing back, the other on her throbbing head. Out of nowhere, or perhaps somewhere, a dark faraway somewhere, there flitted out a memory. Blurred, unfocused and most certainly hazy, but still a memory. She was sitting at her neighbourhood's library and worrying about her university exams, rubbing a spot just above the left side of her temple, where she frequently got headaches.  Her hands were shoved inside her warm purple jacket sleeves as...

She. Is. Beast I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me. -Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 1, p.14 Satsriakal! Shalom!Yeah, we're officially BACK in EP! And I couldn't resist the temptation to start the blogpost with horrible quotes from "Twilight:The Movie"I have so much to tell you! Yes, you, the invisible hypothetical quirky audience that reads my blog. I've been inspired by the 'Confessions of a Klang Valley Girl' post; like hello where was my incredible sense of politically incorrect but somehow spot on-ly hilarious sociological satire essays.  As I am writing this, I am currently surrounded by hordes of pre-pubescent (JKJK, most of them are older than me) trying on prom dresses. It. Is. Crazy.  I am Crazy, but then again, news? I think not. Okay, I digress. Essentially, I became obsessed with Twilight again (is re-obsessed even a word?) because of the (thorn bush song, a.k.a Full Moon-Black Ghosts), spent a INAPPROP...

As I have unrelentingly been unproductive besides a few SAT questions, I have decided to grace the internet, once again, with my awe-inspiring virtual presence. "You cry like a little girl!" This blog is probably going to become a lot more academic since I am so caught up in the 'A-levels' and 'SATs'. (HAHA KIDDING. WHAT IS 'ALEVELS'?) Okay so now to address the elephant in the room, or rather the webpage, little boys cry too. Two words; watch Whiplash. The drum teacher, JK Simmons, yells at Miles Teller and says something along the lines of 'You cry like a little girl' or 'Stop being such a nine-year old girl'? IDK. (#shoutout to my cousin, Mansheel Kaur Randhawa from Kuala Lumpur who gave me this idea) Moving on... Why is this such AN insult? #FEMINISM My cousin said she felt really uncomfortable when she watched the trailer with us, 'us' being a bunch of my male cousins' male friends (one of which I really rea...

New Girl This quote is actual goals. Nick is me.

Mazel Tov, loyal readers! My relatives have come to visit and one of them, Harry (that's not her real name) is married to a Jewish man, I think? Also, I am obsessed with Jewish culture for some absurd reason; I think it has something to do with shared features, a.k.a the disproportionately large noses. But, moving along, I feel like I must introduce you to Vitas, an absolute legend. The story of how I came about discovering him is quite funny ( WELL did you expect anything different, I mean it's me. :) ) So, basically, one of my best friends from Eastwood Prep tagged me in a Facebook post, with a link to this song- called Opera N2 by Vitas. This is essentially a not-so-subtle reference to when I screamed in the common bathroom in my boarding house. Do I regret it? NO! It was the most therapeutic things I've ever personally experienced; shouting in a public place, that is. I plan on making a parody video of me stepping on a Lego piece to the tune (hard to explain, when y...

The nerve wracking process has begun; the choosing of colleges, the long-list of ECAs to drown the observer, the dazzling scores, the judging expressions of seniors/juniors when you tell them:                                           The disbelief. The questioning. The 'can-you-do-it'? The snide comments. I love it! I love the challenge it presents, the addictive college admissions googling; all of it drove me to do better. I hope. I guess it did occur to me to not post the six colleges I wanted to get in to. I mean what if I got rejected by all of them? The shame! But I also realised, there is strength in honesty and transparency. Even if there were rejections (Stanford, I'm looking at you), the number of people who are kind enough to read my blog (I desperately hope) are surely kind enough not to judge. My American Dream.                ...

Ok, so if it hasn't been made obvious, although I think it is pretty obvious, I am a left-winger. What does this mean??  Quite a Nice explanation Yeah, this generally means I wouldn't support anything remotely related to Donald Trump/ Republicans (for you Americans :) ) or for a matter of fact, anything Israeli.  If a country itself should be so blatantly right-wing, I think the award should go to Israel. And yet I do not condemn Israel. Or rather, I do condemn its actions especially in Palestine, but I think I am free from prejudice about Israelis in general or Jews.  Most people, particularly in Asia mistake anti-Israel sentiments for anti-semitism. It is a most dangerous mistake.  Jerusalem But, back to the BREAKING NEWS bit. So my senior- let's call him Tom, recently defended a certain local celebrity for selling hijabs to Israelis. This made me infinitely more interesting to me. Think how a guy with a girlfriend would be infinitely more interest...

" L 'enfer, c'est les autres"- Sartre The camera pans in, on an eye. (the eye is black irised, as opaque as possible) I want the eye to blink; sounds of footsteps , high heels.  Cut to a woman walking the empty corridor (front view)then cut to her walking from side view. Her phones bleeps, she draws it from her side pocket and breaks into a run.  *Full Moon - The Black Ghosts*/ 'let me know-silver swans' the camera follows her , alternating between angles. She reaches the hill outside dorm house.  It's raining, and she sits down on the hill. Pulls out a map. *Camera sees the red line she draws on the map. Map labelled with 'dreams' untidy writing' Zoom on her smile  her bag, the grass.  -she throws out all the things that have held her back.  *books *glasses *picture of her boyfriend *money *lithium looks up at sky, bites lip. turns to the sky, camera does 360 around her. she says silent prayer. Mouths the wordS ...

Dear _______, We sincerely regret to inform you that you have been rejected / we are pleased to inform- Don't you just want to scream! I sincerely DO! I hate it, I hate the fact that we're under so much pressure and that made me do something I'm not proud of at all.