1001 Ways to Embarrass Yourself While Avoiding Injuries

Ertika, Pahel. "I used to be darker, see. Do you see, Ertika? Then, I started staying indoors and reading about the Party. Kauben Wrinfida says I look much better. She says the Party really is doing me good." Ertika yawns absentmindedly. She feels vaguely disturbed by her friend's words, like something inside her is dislodged a little but she cannot reach inside her heart and place exactly what is wrong. "I really liked your colour, Pahel. You looked like my mother when she was younger and everyone said she was pretty." Pahel squirms at the compliment, both pleased and annoyed. She has always been slightly under the shadow of Ertika's goodness, Ertika's selflessness, Ertika's studiousness without her even trying. She hates the thought that Ertika is so politically correct without even meaning to be. She, the child of exiled rightists, she must try so hard to erase her father and mother's harmful legacy and prove her devotion to the Pa...

" There is only the State. If you remember nothing else, remember that. The State, the State, the State." "There is only the State. If you remember nothing else, remember that. The State, The State, The State." POLITICO revolves around two friends who grow up in the future, a dystopian totalitarian state called Malistan founded by General Kristang Malistan, who was Premier when the country was created in 2084. Malistan is officially ruled by the “Official Communist Party Of Former Independent Southeast Asian Republics”, known in short as “Stagov” or the “State Government”,  the only party allowed to exist and it has complete power. STAGOV consisted of 2 representatives from each former republic. It was made up of 5 ministries, Education, Welfare (religion, housing, healthcare, pleasure etc), Industry , Innovation and Bureaucracy. At the age of 18, the children will be given the chance to choose which industry they work in, and thus become a party member. I...

*Note: This is a fictionalised account of events. Any resemblance to any living persons, animals, things etc are purely coincidental. The long drag of a cigarette brings some brief respite from the swirling thoughts in her head. What did it all mean? The anger, the joy, the pain, the depression? Surely, it must have had some significance? There must have been some difference from her actions to the actions of the many, many middle class maniacs before her who'd have done the same things? Look, she types, banging it out on the keyboard. Look, you idiot. The key to being profound is to be depressed. Not sad, but depressed which is essentially being sad with the flab cut out. No crap. You look the world in its eyes through your tears. Being deep, her fingers spell, being deep is . She doesn't know. Everytime she tries, she is told to stop lying. Her mother has read her work, the work she is proud of having created, from veiny hands and sallow skin, but her moth...

Readers, readers. I have previously and continuously mentioned colleges. Indecisively, I must add, which has continually being annoying for both myself and various family members around me. *cough, cough, MOMMMY* JK, except not really. I've seriously been stressing about it and the words: "Best Fit". Like EEEwwwwwwww. "Find your best fit college." "Let _______ quiz tell you exactly which UC you should attend." "Discover which Ivy League is best for you." Instead of TV shows and embarrassing videos of cats and the Jeremy Kyle show or WWYD episodes, my internet history consists mostly of such titles, which can often be more embarrassing than Jeremy Kyle shouting at a poor, weeping man/woman. I have, my friends, perhaps for better or worse decided to post which colleges I hopefully am applying to. Ish. Hoping to declare my major as political science and end up working as either a diplomat for UN or in finance, I will be happy ...

Hello, readers! If you're out there, that is. Is anyone out there? Well, if you ever read any of my posts and do like one, even A LIIIITLLEEE bit, please comment down below just so I know I'm writing relevant things that people want to read and hear about! And please don't be afraid to leave some recommendations. Like, one I heard from one of my good friends, best friend even, was that my site was kinda ugly. Yes, well, in more subtle terms. Probably something along the lines of 'quite hard to read'. Okay, so anyway, I was thinking about representation and I immediately thought of Mindy Kaling. Look, cliche or not, Mindy represents what every major Hollywood TV show doesn't. DIVERSITY. Exactly. She's a main character, messy and unsimplified, she is so far from the typical 'model minority' stereotype that we've, as a general global society, come to accept and unwittingly expect. She's loud and funny, stubborn and frustrating s...

The child's loose curls doth bounce so lightly on his head, Causing a tight pain in my strange heart. Oh, how could it not! How could this babe not bring back a humorous, paining memory? It was... The Mukherjee. Tall, be-pimpled, gangly, tennis god, deep of voice, shy of girls, You-who-seemed-to-never-speak, I adored you! And that adoration translation became silence, hiding behind my fringe! My conquest of you, had, in, my mind, Failed. So I rushed for a glass of water, Oh fateful, Christmas day. The baby reminded me of future we could have had, Amit Mukherjee. Remember? Remember, with trembling hands, I beseech, Look upon my face, and the hands, which so embarrassed me. The tale I must grudgingly and happily tell. Christmas day, I had not eaten, my stomach as bare inside as the manger we didn't have, I went into the kitchen, swearing to this day, for a glass of water, WATER, If only I had just water, sipping demurely, We might be Mr and Mrs Mukherjee...

" There is only the State. If you remember nothing else, remember that. The State, the State, the State." POLITICO revolves around two friends who grow up in the future, a dystopian totalitarian state called Malistan founded by General Kristang Malistan, who was Premier when the country was created in 2084. Malistan is officially ruled by the “Official Communist Party Of Former Independent Southeast Asian Republics”, known in short as “Stagov” or the “State Government”,  the only party allowed to exist and it has complete power. STAGOV consisted of 2 representatives from each former republic. It was made up of 5 ministries, Education, Welfare (religion, housing, healthcare, pleasure etc), Industry , Innovation and Bureaucracy. At the age of 18, the children will be given the chance to choose which industry they work in, and thus become a party member. If they choose not to become a party member, they will be forced to live on the outskirts of Malistan, amongst the 'ri...

BEST. SHOW. EVER. Literally about students living their messed up lives in a uni house because they failed to get into halls, and it's a masterpiece. *This pseudo-review is only about the first season. First off, there is VOD, or VIOLET NORDSTROM (pic above) my favourite character. Talking about breaking gender stereotypes. Usually given to a male character, Vod embodies the typical or in this case atypical 'leg' or 'legend' in uni-speak. Promiscuous and snorting, and sorting drugs all over campus, she is viewed with almost a respectful awe. Unexpectedly becomes very close to OREGON, a high strung, secretly posh girl who is determined to hide her bourgeoisie roots, as we all are. Interesting fact- she's also sleeping with Professor TONY SHALES, the middle-aged English teacher. Then there is JOSIE, the bubbly, nice Welsh girl doing not only dentistry but also JP, an openly posh arrogant boy with a secretly good side, and KINGSLEY, the snooty, precocious...

As you all know, unless you have been living in seclusion for a while, the application deadlines draw swiftly nearer and I am unbearably anxious of my results. Please pray and pray I discover my 'best-fit-colleges'; whatever that means. I shall be blogging frequently about my exploits, rejections and decisions. Hopefully, some acceptances. Thank you.

Reading about Buzzfeed being ev-eel just topped the my day. Like a soggy, purple cherry on an already rapidly collapsing cake, just like Uncle Joe's 80's hairdo. Cringe. Like yeah. Totally cringe. I thought Buzzfeed was all over supporting minorities and making minorities HEARD, you know? Like all those 'Children of Immigrants Thank their parents', 'Things That ______(insert ethnic minority) parents say' made us, the gullible, faceless Internet netizens think. Turns out they do provide a platform to up and coming young people, certainly young people of colour; they just don't get paid very well at all. This news sort of wormed its way into an already strange day. I was researching , or more aptly, obsessively googling which colleges were my best fit. Constantly torn between applying to liberal, women-only colleges and applying to more practical, business-oriented, co-ed ones . People never tell you how hard choosing colleges are! I literally was left o...