Damn it, Jesse Eisenberg! (Lex Luthor)

"Devils don't come from hell beneath us, they come from the sky." - Lex Luthor, Batman vs Superman

When you talk about movie crushes with your best friends, in secret, behind closed doors at sleepovers, you're not supposed to say the name "Jesse Eisenberg". That's the name you're supposed to say in front of your anxious parents who become relieved that their daughter likes a weird, nerdy, intelligent, somewhat-respectable Jewish boy. 

'He sure doesn't look like the kind of guy to do stupid things,' they say to each other in private, while high-fiving.

When you get to your friend Neena's, or Lee Ling or Siti's or Mary-Jo's house, you're supposed to quickly laugh and burst out, in a high-pitched tone, 'OH MY GOD! Was Ben Affleck cute or what??'

Ben Affleck was cute in Batman vs. Superman, don't get me wrong. He was probably the only reason I REALLY REALLY liked it, so much so that I watched it twice.

Only, the second time I watched it, I kept wondering about that weird Lex Luthor guy. How he always seemed *note this is ironic, Luthor was literally full of nervous tics* to have a chip on his shoulder, which is somehow attractive.

Thinking vaguely about how his 'red capes are coming' line lingered slightly longer in my mind than it should have.

Oh, Jesse, I imagine myself saying as we pour over our 'SAT 2 US History Princeton Review's, you're great. To which he'll look pensively up at me, reach over, as if to touch my cheek or tuck a strand of stray hair behind my ear... but no, it's to point out that the declaration of independence was signed on July the 4th 1776, not July the 6th.

And then I think, I'd positively die.