The 'Other' Girl (READ: DUFF)- Heartfelt Letter soon to be Published in Very Famous Magazine
Dear Boys,
I don't know if this letter will pass the Bechdel test or not, but seeing as I am currently grieving for my lack of you in my life, and given the other unfortunate circumstances of rejection, I believe I am granted the rare pass to focus one scion of my attention onto your affairs.
Or, rather, my lack thereof. Pardon the pun, although it wasn't really a pun, not really sure what it was. Whatever, um, just, ignore it. Okay!
You know how, according to Hollywood archetypes, there's always the 'Cool Girl'. Yeah. Her. The nonchalant, effortlessly blasé girl who doesn't give a damn but yet can do everything under the sun whilst still looking hot. (Examples: Jennifer Lawrence, Mila Kunis, Olivia Munn, Olivia Wilde, my best friend-cum-acquaintance S)
Buzzfeed explains this phenomenon well!
Yeah, you know what sucks? Like legitimately second-world problems middle class bougie sucks? Being friends with that girl and being the DUFF. Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Ew, okay, so basically being the DUFF of the friend group (which I was constantly throughout middle school) means YOU are the Boy-Repellent member of the tribe.
YOU can be safely counted on to chaperone the more attractive, thinner, taller friends with guys because you're essentially the anti-horny spray just in human form.
YOU can be the butt of all the jokes, the focus on which tend to be on the size of your thighs and also general unattractiveness.
And you know what? I actually believed you. I thought I was UF, ugly and fat.
And then, I discovered this wonderful creation known as Feminism.
Also rap music. Two things that saved my life really.
I don't need you nearly as much as I used to think I did. I used to want my life to revolve around you, want to undergo a makeover, a transformation that would appeal to you but GOODBYE.
Maybe if you learn to read, even Sartre, we can have a decent conversation.
So long and auf wiedersein .
Sincerely,
Not a DUFF.
I don't know if this letter will pass the Bechdel test or not, but seeing as I am currently grieving for my lack of you in my life, and given the other unfortunate circumstances of rejection, I believe I am granted the rare pass to focus one scion of my attention onto your affairs.
Or, rather, my lack thereof. Pardon the pun, although it wasn't really a pun, not really sure what it was. Whatever, um, just, ignore it. Okay!
You know how, according to Hollywood archetypes, there's always the 'Cool Girl'. Yeah. Her. The nonchalant, effortlessly blasé girl who doesn't give a damn but yet can do everything under the sun whilst still looking hot. (Examples: Jennifer Lawrence, Mila Kunis, Olivia Munn, Olivia Wilde, my best friend-cum-acquaintance S)
Buzzfeed explains this phenomenon well!
Yeah, you know what sucks? Like legitimately second-world problems middle class bougie sucks? Being friends with that girl and being the DUFF. Designated Ugly Fat Friend. Ew, okay, so basically being the DUFF of the friend group (which I was constantly throughout middle school) means YOU are the Boy-Repellent member of the tribe.
YOU can be safely counted on to chaperone the more attractive, thinner, taller friends with guys because you're essentially the anti-horny spray just in human form.
YOU can be the butt of all the jokes, the focus on which tend to be on the size of your thighs and also general unattractiveness.
And you know what? I actually believed you. I thought I was UF, ugly and fat.
And then, I discovered this wonderful creation known as Feminism.
Also rap music. Two things that saved my life really.
I don't need you nearly as much as I used to think I did. I used to want my life to revolve around you, want to undergo a makeover, a transformation that would appeal to you but GOODBYE.
Maybe if you learn to read, even Sartre, we can have a decent conversation.
So long and auf wiedersein .
Sincerely,
Not a DUFF.
Comments
Post a Comment